It`s not that I dislike Vincet Gallo, I out and out detest him. Having suffered immeasurably as I sat through two of his directorial efforts, I feel no guilt in saying that the man is the most horrific of bastards that I have had the ill fortune of knowing about. The revulsion I feel towards him is that which I usually reserve for former employers, ex-girlfriends and bankers.
I will start off with the lesser of the two evils, Buffalo 66. An over rated yarn about a dude (Gallo) who is released from prison and seeks revenge on the Bookie that put him in there. At some stage he kidnaps a girl (Christina Ricci) and forces her to pretend that she is either his wife of girlfriend, I can`t really remember. There is a horribly long scene in which there are many shots of Gallo lying on a bed with Ricci, he`s curled up at the edge of it, vulnerable, it is the kind of self indulgence I have come to associate with Gallo. The viewer is meant to feel sympathy for this tragic figure but all I thought was “You`re a cock, mate.”
The film picks up ever so slightly when the couple visit his parents, played by Angelica Huston and Ben Gazzara who starred in John Cassavettes ‘The Killing of A Chinese Bookie’ a far superior film to this heap of shit.
Although I have seen the movie twice, the rest of the story is a bit of blur for me, this may be down to the fact that it was so chronically boring that it was forced out of my memory or else the simple fact that nothing really happened. I have nothing against films or books for that matter with a loose narative but this was completely void of content. It is the cinematic equivalent of a cardboard box. I know Mickey Rourke plays some part in the final scene but again, what his role is escapes me.
The Brown Bunny, where the fuck do I start? I remember hearing about this film when it was shown at Cannes, I`m pretty sure it got torn apart there. Chloe Sevigny, great actress, was going out with Gallo at the time this film was being made. One of the things I had heard about this film was that there was a graphic sex scene in it. I admit when I saw a copy of The Brown Bunny in the video store, my curiosity got the better of me. I rented it out and took it home.
Again, a lot of what happened in the movie escapes me, there was zero plot! Gallo`s character drove around a lot and didn`t say anything. He drove over to a meet up with a few ex-girlfriends and didn`t say anything. On meeting the ex-girlfriends he continued in his usual creepy, awkward attempt at being vulnerable.
One scene which lasted an eternity, had Gallo drive his van out to the desert. This driving scene wasn`t edited down. No, i spent twenty minutes or there abouts watching him drive, I think he had the radio on. On arriving at the desert, in no rush at all, he opened the back of the van and very slowly took a motorbike out of the back. He then spent about five minutes giving the motorbike a once over. Then he jumped on it and drove off, the camera staying on him until he disappeared into the horizon. What kind of asshole would put someone through that kind of shit. There was nothing deep, insightful or enetertaining about it. All I thought was that I hope he crashes.
The final scene, the moneyshot! For some reason or another (it`s not important to the no story), Gallo goes to a house and in this house is Chloe Sevigny. From what I remember they say very little to each other. She`s sitting on a bed he is standing up. Gallo then takes his cock out and rams it down het throat. He then proceeds to thrust it deeper and deeper than her throat while mumbling, “why did you suck his cock?” I have know idea what bearing this profound statement had on the scenes that preceeded this one. As I watched Gallo fuck Sevigny`s head, two things came to mind. Firstly I was reminded of when my brother was very young and he started choking on a bit of roast beef, he survived. And the second thing that came to mind was, Wow, this dude has ruined his girlfriends career. Nice Guy.
I have seen some rubbish in my life but the tedium of this monstrosity is second to none. I don`t think there is anyone in the world that can do wrist slashingly boring quite like Gallo, he owns this genre. He is master of this niche.